The Crazy Twisted Story

Once upon a time there was a guy named Susie who went for a
walk on his treadmill every day.  He had a dog named Dan, who
was a girl dog, and one day they were walking on the treadmill
and had a picnic there.  Then they took the escalator to
Neverland where they met the Little Mermaid and her lion named
MooShoo.  They then got some bagels from the umbrella tree
under the rainbow.  On the way down they stopped to listen to a
piece of music.

"But where's the rest of it?" asked Dan.  They searched under the
overpass and over the underpass until they caught Alice eating it.  
She then turned into a pea and was stashed away under about
3,582 pieces of paper until Novembuary 86 1/2.7, when it started
to rain malted milk balls.

"Oh no," said Frog Prince, "The sky is releasing chocolate!  That
could only mean one thing..."

BUM BUM BUM...

"What?" asked Susie.

"I dunno, but it's not very normal," Frog responded.  Then he
caught a milkball out of the sky with his blue spotted tongue and
shed his skin.  Underneath was an Easter basket.

"Mmm, eggs," said the salmon swimming upstream.

"But fishes don't eat chicken eggs," said Dan.

"Those are froggy eggs."

"No, they're froggy legs," said the breaststroker.  "Notice the form of
that harmonica."

Sure enough, the ground was sprouting lollipops and all the lemurs
were happy and dancing because they were forced to by the
Evil Witch That Could.

"I think I can," said Evil Witch, "So I will!  Hahaha," she sang in an
opera voice.

"Are you really evil?" asked the big purple ostrich.
"No, my real name is Marge, but I don't like Marge, so I changed it
to Evil Witch."

"Happy New Year!" the ostrich responded.

And all the blue jays screamed the scraping screech they do,
because candy-related phenomena are just no good.

Sure enough, the mud puddle turned into chocolate syrup and
the salmon froze over.  Susie poked it.

"Mmm, chocolate covered salmon," he said, and did a chicken
dance.

It was all fun and games until Dan tried to drink the syrup puddle
and her tongue got stuck to the telephone pole.  Eventually using
bagels and a crimping iron she got unstuck and started on her
usual meal of flypaper and permanent ink.

"Yum yum," she said, but that's not important.

What is important is the moral: Never be optimistic when the sun
starts engulfing the stars and everyone starts sprouting foot hair.

The End!

(Or is it?)