The Story of the Evil Witch that Could

Once there was a young girl named Marge who was dissatisfied
with her name.

"It makes me think of butter," said one friend.

"It makes me think of the edges of type on a paper," said another.

She wanted a name that would suit her perfectly.  She came
home one day and her 10-year-old brother told her, "Back off, Evil
Witch!"

Marge was going to be insulted but suddenly she thanked her
brother for his help.  Confused and convinced that Marge had
put a spell on him, he ran away.

Evil Witch was the coolest, most neatest name that Marge had
ever heard of.  And if the name didn't fit her personality, then she
would just change her personality.

One thing that "Evil Witch" (as she answers to so reluctantly) loved
devotedly to do was to sing opera.  She noticed if she sang one
etude it would produce hypnotic effects: everyone would bob
their heads in similar directions and do breaststroke arms.

Maybe, Evil Witch thought, I can compose other etudes, sing
them with my unique vocal cords, and make people do other
things.

So she tried it.  She was constantly muttering "I think I can" while
writing down notes, so somewhere along the line she acquired the
nickname of the Evil Witch that Could, or Eve for short.

Finally she finished her first etude.  Then she sang it in public.  This
one let people allow pigeons to land on their heads while the
pigeons were hypnotized to poop.  When she stopped singing
many people wondered why they had pigeon poop all over
themselves.

Over the following year Eve composed many pieces that
brainwashed citizens and aliens alike.  This was all for
amusement....

(Unfinished...oh well!)