Crap Item #5: Matt

Matt is a lifeguard at the Foresthill pool.  He's got white-bleached
hair, and lots of muscles, and he's very tan.  Last summer he
worked at Robber's Roost (it's a restaurant).  He was a
water-glass-pourer.  Lauren, Megan, Janet and I thought that was
hilarious.  So we drank about seven glasses of water each, just so
Matt would have to fill them up again.

Matt's hot.  But I didn't even think about that until this year, when
he became a lifeguard.  I don't have a crush on him.  I hardly ever
speak to him.  I just think he's incredibly hot.  He's like our idol--he's
only there for us to marvel.  He knows it now, too.  But he doesn't
know of all the secret footage Lauren takes of him on her video
camera, just for the Matt montage.  And he doesn't know that we
make an "M" symbol with our fingers, just like the "Z" symbol for
Zoltan on Dude, Where's My Car?  He just knows that we're freaks,
and we like him.  He's our favorite lifeguard.

Hee hee...Matt!

Matt dives funny for swim team.  He practically flies halfway across
the pool, then his entire body bends and I think he starts swimming
before he even reaches the water.  I wish I could dive like that.  
Then I'd be fast, and not...slow (redundance!).  He's really really
fast.  Actually, it kind of makes since that he's fast because he's the
swim coach's son.  Anyway.

Summer of 2003 was the last season Matt was on swim team.  We
all signed a Speedo with a metallic Sharpie so he'll always
remember us.

Go Matt!