The Story of Spike the Spikey-Haired Goldfish

In the magical land of N-Z File Cabinet there lived, in a pond, a
Spikey-haired goldfish named Spike.

Spike was living a very happy life chewing dried corn and eating
rocks when suddenly he found a shoe in one of the rocks!  
Actually, maybe it was a rock in one of the shoes, or something
like that.  Anyway, he saw it as a bad sign and rushed to his mirror.

When he got there he discovered that his toothpaste was gone.

"This is bad!" Spike declared, "for my personal hygiene."

He looked up to the surface and saw a dark, circular shadow.  As
he was drawn to it by a magnetic field, Spike noticed that it was
a cucumber birthday cake.

When he climbed on the platter on which the enomous blue
cake stood, he noticed the peanut butter was swirling all around.
 Out jumped a box turtle.

"My name is Eltrut," it said.  "Help me find my satin gloves."

So they searched all across the Mailtox Galaxy for the next
360,421,897,534 milliseconds.  Then they got bored and danced.

But their happy rituals were brief as the ocean started to become
sudsy and smelling of peach, for some evil being had spilled
several zillions of gallons of peach flavored shampoo and
conditioner into the sea.

Eltrut (which is turtle backwards, don't ya know) and Spike
stopped dancing and washed their hair in the ocean.

But a huge red spot, about a half-inch in diameter, was
approaching the turtle and fish ever so consistantly.  When it
finally reached them it declared:

"I am Henry the Cranberry and I am evil!"

"Why?" asked Eltrut.

"I don't know, I was born that way, and leave me alone!  Who
asked you anyway?"

Eltrut shrugged and Henry flew away.

"P.S." Henry called as he ascended, "You might want to try my
blue cucumber cake!"

So they unwisely followed that advice and they were quite
satisfied.

"Yum," they said, as the mystical fairy named O came upon them.

"You may have one wish," said O.

"For both of us or one for each of us?" asked Spike.

"Um...um...I dunno...T?" O called.

"Yeah?" said another mystical fairy who was apparently named T.

"What do you think?"

"Um, well..." T thought hard.  "There's a solution to every problem:
Let's dance!"

So Eltrut, Spike, O, T, and all the other fairies named after letters N
through Z danced to their favorite disco songs.  One fairy even
had a 'fro.  Spike and Eltrut never got their wishes; the disco party
was much more fun.

Until the fairy named Y got her foot stuck in the marshmallow goo
that covered the floor.

"Why oh why?" asked Y. Then all the fairies left.

"BUM BUM BUM," said Spike.

"What?" asked Eltrut.

"I dunno, I just suddenly felt urged to say BUM BUM BUM."

Spike returned to Spike's pond and Spike found out that nobody
was allowed to speak pronouns anymore.  It wasn't
allowed...what?  I just spoke a pronoun?  I--er, narrator's under
arrest?  Oops.

The moral: Never speak pronouns when pronouns are not allowed
because pronouns confuse everyone.

The End!

P.S. Eltrut did eventually find Eltrut's gloves.  The gloves were on
Eltrut's feet the whole time.